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Band is the seventieth episode of the series Weebl & Bob.

Posted: 25th August, 2004

Summary: The jams decide to form a band to get their message across. Surely this will end in tears?! Also: ow! My throat.

Tune: Jammin - Bob Marley, Jam Revolution - Weebl

Credits: Weebl and Skoo

Transcript Edit

{There are 4 Jams together. The one on the far left is addresing the other three, and the one on the far right is facing away from the speaking Jam. There is a poster in the background which, predictably, reads 'OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT!'.}

JAM 1: Brother Jams. For too long we have been ignored.

{Nobody responds or seems to take any interest.}

JAM 1: Ahem!

JAM 4: Huh?

{Jam 4 slowly turns round to face Jam 1.}

JAM 1: Were you listening?

JAM 4: Yes.

{Jam 4 hesitates for a moment.}

JAM 4: No. Sorry.

JAM 1: We need a way of getting our message out.

JAM 2: Ooh! Ooh! Let's form a band!

JAM 1: That's a stupid idea.

JAM 2: You got a better one brother?

{Jam 1 turns to face the screen and thinks.}

JAM 1: Erm.

JAM 3: You can be drummer.

{Jam 1 turns back to face other 3.}

JAM 1: Sweeeeet! Let's do it!

JAM 2: Great! 'Cos I already got us a gig for tonight.

JAM 1: Tonight?? Quick! There's no time to lose!

{4 hours later, the Jams reappear, all bearing Strawberry tattoos with a small banner saying 'Mom' on their labels.}

JAM 1: Ok. We got our rock tattoos.

{Close-up of tattoo on Jam 1.}

JAM 2: Yeah baby!

{Return to normal view.}

JAM 1: Now what?

JAM 3: We need a band name.

JAM 2: Jam Bovi!

JAM 3: The Jam.

JAM 1: That's been done.

JAM 4: Duran DuJam!

JAM 2: Jambawamba!

JAM 1: Stop.

JAM 3: MC Jammer.

JAM 1: Stop!

JAM 4: Hammer time!

{From off-screen, a hammer is thrown and smashes Jam 4... killing him.}

JAM 1: Who threw that?

{Cut by use of blurring to a rather hairy Jam beside a slightly nobbled tin of beans.}

HAIRY JAM: Sorry. I was trying to open these beans.

JAM 1: {offstage} Use the can opener like everyone else.

HAIRY JAM: Ok.

{Cut back to the Jams.}

JAM 1: Right. Let's practice.

{Fade out, then fade in a scene of the Jams practicing. Jam 1 is on drums, Jam 2 is lead singer, Jam 3 is playing the Jammond Organ and Jam 4 is dead. As they practice, a thumping noise becomes apparent.}

JAM 2: Stop!

{A hammer flies off from the right edge of the screen and smashes Jam 3, killing him.}

JAM 1: What the hell are you doing?

HAIRY JAM: {off-screen} Washing the car!

JAM 2: With a hammer?

HAIRY JAM: Well, it's not going to clean itself.

JAM 1: Use water like everyone else.

HAIRY JAM: K.

{Sounds of something scrunching.}

JAM 2: What now?

{A can opener flies off from the right edge of the screen and hits Jam 2, bounces off who then explodes. Jam 1 turns suddenly to face where Jam 2 was just standing, then the Hairy Jam leans over into the foreground and speaks to the screen. Jam 1 turns to face Hairy Jam.}

HAIRY JAM: Sorry, it's a right-handed can opener.

JAM 1: Why are using a can opener?

HAIRY JAM: I'm filling the car with beans.

JAM 1: Why?

HAIRY JAM: Well... I opened them earlier, and I thought it was a shame to waste 'em.

{Jam 1 slowly turns away from Hairy Jam and stares in disbelief at screen.}

HAIRY JAM: This gives the best cleaning results.

{Jam 1 turns back to face the Hairy Jam.}

JAM 1: Your results are 3 dead jams!

HAIRY JAM: But I get results!

HAIRY JAM: Also, I might be high.

{Banana appears in a cloud of smoke.}

BANANA: You are.

HAIRY JAM: I am!

JAM 1: Clear this up. I've got a gig to drive to.

{Jam 1 gets down from the drums and makes his way to the car. Squelching noise indicates a car full of beans.}

JAM 1: Eeeew!

{He drives off, banner reading 'OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT' at back explodes. Fade out, then fade in with the lone Jam 1 facing the audience all on his own. The viewpoint is at first from behind the audience, then it turns to directly behind him, and finally back from behind the audience.}

JAM 1: Overthrow. Overthrow the government. Yeah! 'Coz they smell of poooooo And they don't like... Stuff.... That you do! Yeah! Overthrow. Overthr...

{The crowd get angry and microphone starts to whine and cut out.}

JAM 1: Overthrow the government. Yeah. Wipe the floor.

{The crowd boos Jam 1. Weebl and Bob rise up from the back of the audience.}

WEEBL: You stink!

BOB: Yes. Of beans and hammers.

{Jam 1 looks down resignedly.}

JAM 1: Yeah.

External links Edit

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