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Hairy Jam is a jam jar mechanic. However, he is not good at his job, as his lack of mechanical skills and carelessness with tools always seem to get his customers killed/seriously injured. He does not seem to take interest in the other jams' rebellion against the government, but has an obsession with baked beans, which, he claims, "everyone loves." Like Hairy Lee, he is hairy all over. He first appeared in band, where he killed off three Jams, stating that he is high. He believes that hitting a car repeatedly with a hammer and filling it with beans gives the best cleaning results. He was last seen as an employee at Pissy Werld (wearing a Tesco Value label), along with Shopkeep, The Mysterious Chicken and The Captain of the Farm.

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